The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
