I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We need a shit load of segways right now
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
