i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
