I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
