Already got asked if we're dating
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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