For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
