my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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