She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
