This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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