Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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