the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
