Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
