Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
