I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
