I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
