so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Bring me that man meat
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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