I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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