8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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