that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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