Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
