stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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