3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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