just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
