i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize