sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize