so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
