Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
we should paint friendship bongs
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