are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
