I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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