who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
