I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
