Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I love you.
Bad choice
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
