Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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