I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
