woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Life without a bra equals bliss.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize