i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
