We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
