I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
