"it" just moved
My liver just broke up with me...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
