Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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