do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
