i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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