How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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