I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
