How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Found the puke drawer
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
