But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
