my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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