before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
