Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
