doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm getting married
To pizza
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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