i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
