Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
