sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
