I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
