Someone shit on the floor
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize