Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
