Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
