Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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