I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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