sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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