Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize