If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
