it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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