i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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