Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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