these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
