I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize